Values & Needs

Your needs

Our needs are those things that need (!) to be in place for us to be at our best. It is important to identify these so that your full potential can then be released. If they are not, you can continue to aim for the moon and yet you will still not be at your best.
So, first identify three times when you have really felt wonderful – do it now.

Now you have the occasions, then think what need was being met when you felt so good.
 

Another way to get at your needs is to just ask yourself the question – “What do I really need to be at my best?”
When you have got your list, then ask yourself the following questions:

• What kind of person am I when my needs are met?

• What kind of person am I when none of my needs are met?

• Where am I getting my needs met?

• Where (and why) am I not getting my needs met?

Score each need on a scale of 1-10 for how they are being met at the moment.
 

Your values

Our values help us make choices about what we commit to in our lives. If you commit time and energy to something that violates or neglects one of your core values, you will start to feel resentful, or frustrated, or perhaps just a persistent niggling that something is not right. If you are not honouring your values when you make choices about activities and relationships, you will get a sense that something is missing or wrong in your life. Your values, then, are the qualities that define you, that are at the core of who you are. Without these things, you would not be you.

While it is enormously powerful to know our core values, it is not always easy to identify them. Begin by creating a list as you think about the questions below. Don’t worry about getting it “right” and capturing all your values. This is a work in progress. Also, your values don’t have to be a single word – they could be a string of words or sentences. Find what works for you. Think about these things.

• What is important to you?

• What do you care about

• What do you want in your life?

Now, think of a time when life has been rich, fulfilling, exhilarating, flowing. There may have been challenges but you were on a roll. It may have been minutes, hours or week. What was important about that experience? What values were you honouring?
 
What drives you nuts or makes you angry or frustrated? Think about each of these – what value is being violated? What is being stepped on? What is it that you can’t live with and still be true to yourself?

What is so much a part of you that you haven’t thought to put it on the list yet?
 
Now, you may have a long list at this point. Have a look through it and identify the top five or six values – the ones that feel strongest to you. Take some time to think through (and write down) what each of these means to you.

Then, on a scale of 1-10 score how you are living each of your values today